Have you ever gone through something and not known you were actually going through 'something' until you've come out of it? Well that happened to me this morning. It was a peaceful morning I had been looking forward too since the weekend. I knew Wednesday I could sleep in and know I was finished with my college classes. No more studying, getting up at the crack of dawn to try to get my real chores done before I had to make it to class on time, and no more rushing between work, school and trying to spend time with my husband. I knew it would be a glorious morning but little did I know the emotional finish line I would come across as I was having my coffee.
I was sitting down at my table in my favorite room in the house. My little plant hanging from the ceiling and my iPad playing Grey's Anatomy. (Forever my favorite show) I was sipping coffee that I had just brewed and it was like my mind took on slow motion. I felt my eyes scan the room and I realized, I could relax. I didn't have any papers to write or discussions to post. My notebooks were in a neat little pile next to my laptop across the room, they looked so withered and disheveled. A calm feeling spread over me and I could feel the coffee I was drinking slip down my throat so smoothly. It was like I had spidey senses! My mind and body was so used to having a million things to micro-manage and then all of a sudden, it just didn't. I felt a smile spread across my face and I felt such Joy. Then my mind began to reminisce all the things I had done sense January. Get married, move out of my child-hood home, take on five college courses, work 30 hours a week, move again, manage to save enough money to take care of my new baby and get all of her little things in order for when she decides to arrive; all while watching my body change and belly grow. I stood up and felt like a thousand pounds had been lifted. I gazed out the window in the beautiful yard below our apartment and with birds chirping and flowers swaying in the breeze I felt myself walk across an imaginary line of accomplishment. I could finally breathe.
This feeling was unexpected and only by the Grace of God can I look around and see how much he's provided for me in the last months of my life. This Journey wasn't easy, It was filled of emotional nights clinging to the hope that there is a new day coming soon and at the end of this I will look down in to my daughters eyes and tell her it was worth it. That day is coming soon, and I now I can savor the gift of rest that God introduced to me this beautiful morning in May.
What's in a name?
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Can I just say, naming a person is not an easy task!? Sure, you find out your pregnant, life moves on and the reality sets in that this bump below you is not just a cute thing to take pictures of and post on Instagram, that bump houses a sweet baby that has a future, just like yours and mine. And with a future comes a daunting fact that we have the responsibility of naming this little growing person. What will people call her? What will her teachers and her grandparents say when they want her to look up at them? When I started to think about all of the things that went in to a name, I started to panic a little. I tend to over think things and because I want everything to be perfect for this little one, we put a lot of time and thought in to this name. So brace yourself my friends, because these are the reasons our daughter will be, Hallie Grace. :)
Let me start with the moment her name popped in my head. I was on my way home from work, it was a long night at work with not a lot of exciting moments, just another day, another dollar sort of thing. I was exhausted and couldn't wait to go to bed. I was rounding the curb on route 12 and I looked up at the sky. It was a really cold, clear night and I remember thinking how pretty it was and I noticed the thousands of stars twinkling above me as I sped home. They looked so sure of themselves like they were meant to be exactly where they were. I noticed what looked like an 'H' in the sky, it wasn't exact and it wasn't gleaming like a sign from heaven or anything but it definitely looked like an H and for whatever reason, the name Hallie popped in my head. Instantly I wanted to ask Jon what he thought of the name. We had been toying with names for months and we couldn't agree on anything. Nothing really grabbed our attention and put a smile on our face, so we just kept searching. Internet sites, movie credits...ect. I was hoping that something like this would happen, that a name would magically appear in my head and by some strange turn of fait, this name was exactly the name that put a smile on Jon's face when I bounded through the door and screamed the name Hallie at him while he was sitting half-asleep on the couch watching t.v.
Grace was a decision we made prior to my star gazing. As many of you know that follow my blog, this little baby wasn't planned for us. It happened, we coped, and we've moved on. But only by the grace of our God. The word grace took on a new meaning for me when I found out this baby was happening. I was so hard on myself in the beginning and really put myself in such a negative place. I wince when I think back to the feelings I let consume me. Grace was the only thing that pulled me out of this hole and really helped me move on with my life. The concept of Grace to me is just the most beautiful promise that this life has to offer. We all make mistakes and we all have daily struggles, that's inevitable. But by God's grace we don't have to harp on those mistakes and struggles. We can look forward to the bright future he's given us and grow within ourselves to learn from life and become the beautiful souls God created us to be. But wait, there is even more to this four letter word. It's not just a promise, its forgiveness. It's taught me to forgive. I want to teach Hallie that her middle name is not just something that sounded good with her first. It is a reminder that we are all human, it's a guarantee that this life isn't easy but if you have a forgiving heart you will live a much lighter, brighter, world. Never get hung up on anything, push forward and live your life to God's potential for you.
So with that, I present what's in her name and what it means to us. I only have 10 more weeks to go until she arrives and the sooner we get to meeting her the more we prepare ourselves to love her like God loves us. Unconditionally. <3
Let me start with the moment her name popped in my head. I was on my way home from work, it was a long night at work with not a lot of exciting moments, just another day, another dollar sort of thing. I was exhausted and couldn't wait to go to bed. I was rounding the curb on route 12 and I looked up at the sky. It was a really cold, clear night and I remember thinking how pretty it was and I noticed the thousands of stars twinkling above me as I sped home. They looked so sure of themselves like they were meant to be exactly where they were. I noticed what looked like an 'H' in the sky, it wasn't exact and it wasn't gleaming like a sign from heaven or anything but it definitely looked like an H and for whatever reason, the name Hallie popped in my head. Instantly I wanted to ask Jon what he thought of the name. We had been toying with names for months and we couldn't agree on anything. Nothing really grabbed our attention and put a smile on our face, so we just kept searching. Internet sites, movie credits...ect. I was hoping that something like this would happen, that a name would magically appear in my head and by some strange turn of fait, this name was exactly the name that put a smile on Jon's face when I bounded through the door and screamed the name Hallie at him while he was sitting half-asleep on the couch watching t.v.
Grace was a decision we made prior to my star gazing. As many of you know that follow my blog, this little baby wasn't planned for us. It happened, we coped, and we've moved on. But only by the grace of our God. The word grace took on a new meaning for me when I found out this baby was happening. I was so hard on myself in the beginning and really put myself in such a negative place. I wince when I think back to the feelings I let consume me. Grace was the only thing that pulled me out of this hole and really helped me move on with my life. The concept of Grace to me is just the most beautiful promise that this life has to offer. We all make mistakes and we all have daily struggles, that's inevitable. But by God's grace we don't have to harp on those mistakes and struggles. We can look forward to the bright future he's given us and grow within ourselves to learn from life and become the beautiful souls God created us to be. But wait, there is even more to this four letter word. It's not just a promise, its forgiveness. It's taught me to forgive. I want to teach Hallie that her middle name is not just something that sounded good with her first. It is a reminder that we are all human, it's a guarantee that this life isn't easy but if you have a forgiving heart you will live a much lighter, brighter, world. Never get hung up on anything, push forward and live your life to God's potential for you.
So with that, I present what's in her name and what it means to us. I only have 10 more weeks to go until she arrives and the sooner we get to meeting her the more we prepare ourselves to love her like God loves us. Unconditionally. <3
Embarking on yet another Journey
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
It's been a long time since I've sat down with the keyboard. I really don't have an excuse. I suppose I could throw the usual, I'm a full time student with a job and a lot of laundry but those excuses really never make my offence that believable. So I guess I'll just be real with my readers, it was a mix of writers block and laziness. Now that we got that out of the way I can introduce you to the whirlwind of things going on in my life these days.
Let me just say, being a grown-up is the most terrifying thing I've ever done. Every decision being made weighs my mind down with all the potential consequences. Which I can thank my Dad for that haunting ability. I wake up on a daily basis with a personal chore list and I put so much pressure on myself to savor the day because each and every day I get closer to Hallee Grace being born, I know that my life will change forever. That's something I'm okay with but I would still like to savor these last few months as Mallory the mom to be; not the mom on call :)
As quickly as Jon and I grew together as a newly married couple we discovered our dreams and goals for our family. It happened pretty quickly actually with no prior planning needed. I suppose when you love someone and end up moving in with them it's natural to develop a personal dream for the both of you. We quickly saw where we were living wasn't in the dream. The unreasonably expensive utility bills and one electrical outlet in the living room made for a difficult start to our married life. We decided it was time to tell the land-lord goodbye and start looking for a new place to call home. At first, this scared me. New place, more money not to mention the act of moving. It's stressful to say the least. But as I laid in bed and thought about this new adventure we just decided to embark on, the sparkle came to the surface and I smiled knowing this was just one step to get to our ultimate goal. This would be the place that we brought our new baby home too. This would be the place she would take her first steps and say her first word. My mind sprang in to action. For those of you who know me well, when I set my mind to something, I have a way of bounding to the finish line. It took me 5 hours to find an apartment. I'm not joking. The timeline of events happened quickly and it involved a Facebook post, a long phone-call with a cousin and a trip to her newly renovated upstairs apartment in Baldwinsville. Walking in I knew it was the place for us. The effort she put in to renovating the place was evident. Everything was fresh and ready for a new beginning, and that was exactly what we needed. The price and everything fell in to place and with a exchanged smile between Jon and I it was enough to seal the deal and make an offer.
Now the hard part begins; but as I ferociously write these words down on paper the adventure ahead shines bright with wonder and excitement. It's like I always say, Don't lose the Joy in the Journey. ;)
Let me just say, being a grown-up is the most terrifying thing I've ever done. Every decision being made weighs my mind down with all the potential consequences. Which I can thank my Dad for that haunting ability. I wake up on a daily basis with a personal chore list and I put so much pressure on myself to savor the day because each and every day I get closer to Hallee Grace being born, I know that my life will change forever. That's something I'm okay with but I would still like to savor these last few months as Mallory the mom to be; not the mom on call :)
As quickly as Jon and I grew together as a newly married couple we discovered our dreams and goals for our family. It happened pretty quickly actually with no prior planning needed. I suppose when you love someone and end up moving in with them it's natural to develop a personal dream for the both of you. We quickly saw where we were living wasn't in the dream. The unreasonably expensive utility bills and one electrical outlet in the living room made for a difficult start to our married life. We decided it was time to tell the land-lord goodbye and start looking for a new place to call home. At first, this scared me. New place, more money not to mention the act of moving. It's stressful to say the least. But as I laid in bed and thought about this new adventure we just decided to embark on, the sparkle came to the surface and I smiled knowing this was just one step to get to our ultimate goal. This would be the place that we brought our new baby home too. This would be the place she would take her first steps and say her first word. My mind sprang in to action. For those of you who know me well, when I set my mind to something, I have a way of bounding to the finish line. It took me 5 hours to find an apartment. I'm not joking. The timeline of events happened quickly and it involved a Facebook post, a long phone-call with a cousin and a trip to her newly renovated upstairs apartment in Baldwinsville. Walking in I knew it was the place for us. The effort she put in to renovating the place was evident. Everything was fresh and ready for a new beginning, and that was exactly what we needed. The price and everything fell in to place and with a exchanged smile between Jon and I it was enough to seal the deal and make an offer.
Now the hard part begins; but as I ferociously write these words down on paper the adventure ahead shines bright with wonder and excitement. It's like I always say, Don't lose the Joy in the Journey. ;)
Getting in to the groove
Saturday, January 25, 2014
My mind is veering in a thousand different directions as I start this blog. There is SO much to share. For those of you that follow, It's been a few weeks since I've been able to write down what's going on in my crazy life. This is due to not a lack of time, but a lack of internet. I must say it is a bit pathetic how cave woman I felt as I wandered aimlessly through my days without Facebook, blogging and Instagram. It's become a bit of a lifestyle and not one I am really proud to say.
Jon and I are now moved in to our new apartment. We live in the village, something I'm not accustomed too, so the many sirens and traffic have been an adjustment. I am quickly feeling at home in this cozy 2 bedroom apartment. We live in a giant 200 year old house that has been separated in to 4 different apartments. My favorite part is the giant windows in each of the bedrooms. The amount of light in this apartment is serious. I love sunlight!
Baby is doing good. We are approximately 166 more days from meeting our little creation. It's insane how quickly the days pass and the days turn in to weeks. I am 16 weeks and 3 days today. Only 1.5 weeks from finding out whether our baby is a boy or girl. Part of me wonders how i'll feel when I find out the big news. Laying in that sonogram room is definitely something. With a shaky father next to me holding my hand and a strange but usually polite nurse spreading freezing jelly all over my stomach. I can't help but feel nervous. I have never liked doctors and seeing how I'm pregnant...I get the honor of meeting one once a month.
Well now that life has sort of settled in to a groove, I've found my footing and am starting to enjoy married life. Getting used to living with someone has been...interesting. I've always been a firm believer that waiting to live with your husband is essential. Many people believe that you should live with the person to kind of test them out. I always used to protest that and say there is nothing that he does that will be that big of a deal breaker. I think God has blessed with me to sticking to my guns because my husband has proved to be a pretty easy guy to live with. If you ignore the constant trail he leaves behind him and the dirty socks all over our bedroom...he's a peach! Yeah, there is a little bit of sarcasm there...
In all honesty, it's true that living with someone is a challenge and yeah, I could have tested him out and picked out all of the terrible, awful things he does that drive me nuts but thats not what a relationship or marriage is about. It's about focusing on the things that I love. Like for instance, the fact that he kisses me goodbye even though i'm sleeping before he leaves for work. (or rather when I'm pretending to sleep...) Or the way he sits on the couch when he watches t.v, with his arm resting behind his head and a thousand pillows behind his back. Or maybe the fact we have 6 things of juicy juice in our fridge at all times. Yeah, I could have picked out all those irritating things he does, but I would have missed all the wonderful things that he does, that makes him, him.
This apartment has character and is becoming a cozy home for the start of our new life together. Every morning I wake up and feel more and more at home. I thank God for the strength he gave me through these last few weeks and I know he will provide in the weeks to come. To see where life has taken me is a blessing, and I can't wait to see all the sights as we continue to venture down this road.
Well now that life has sort of settled in to a groove, I've found my footing and am starting to enjoy married life. Getting used to living with someone has been...interesting. I've always been a firm believer that waiting to live with your husband is essential. Many people believe that you should live with the person to kind of test them out. I always used to protest that and say there is nothing that he does that will be that big of a deal breaker. I think God has blessed with me to sticking to my guns because my husband has proved to be a pretty easy guy to live with. If you ignore the constant trail he leaves behind him and the dirty socks all over our bedroom...he's a peach! Yeah, there is a little bit of sarcasm there...
In all honesty, it's true that living with someone is a challenge and yeah, I could have tested him out and picked out all of the terrible, awful things he does that drive me nuts but thats not what a relationship or marriage is about. It's about focusing on the things that I love. Like for instance, the fact that he kisses me goodbye even though i'm sleeping before he leaves for work. (or rather when I'm pretending to sleep...) Or the way he sits on the couch when he watches t.v, with his arm resting behind his head and a thousand pillows behind his back. Or maybe the fact we have 6 things of juicy juice in our fridge at all times. Yeah, I could have picked out all those irritating things he does, but I would have missed all the wonderful things that he does, that makes him, him.
This apartment has character and is becoming a cozy home for the start of our new life together. Every morning I wake up and feel more and more at home. I thank God for the strength he gave me through these last few weeks and I know he will provide in the weeks to come. To see where life has taken me is a blessing, and I can't wait to see all the sights as we continue to venture down this road.
This Paper is my Canvas; These words are my heart
Monday, December 30, 2013
I'm sitting in my Christmas PJ's at the moment. Just enjoying some peppermint tea and the snow falling outside my window. I just woke up and the first thing I thought to do was start blogging. My mind is at it's most clear in the morning. As I sit here sipping my tea, I've been contemplating about what this blog will be about. Seeing how i'll be a married woman in less than a week, I'm thinking it's only appropriate to write about this upcoming life chapter & my thoughts about it.
As you can imagine my mind has been racing and though on the outside I may seem calm, if you caught a glimpse inside you would see something that resembled chaos. Good chaos though.
I've always known that Jon was the guy for me. God placed him in my life at a time I needed him most, and we've both spoken in to each others lives in ways that no one else could ever comprehend. He's become a comforting friend in the unknowing waves of life and a compassionate, loving man in the times I've needed one. I have always believed God's true purpose for a husband has been a strong, loving leader for the family and I have no doubt Jon fills the criteria. His patience with me in the beginning of this pregnancy has been unbelievable. On a side note: pregnancy hormones are no joke if you didn't know I was pregnant you may just think I'm insane. It is possible to cry and laugh at the same time. For Jon not to get frustrated with me in these times of hysteria is a gift in itself.
Now on a serious note, I have had a few close family members ask me in the quiet moments, if I am absolutely sure this is what I want to do. This wedding is soon, and anyone with common sense should question if this is the right decision. After all, marriage isn't something you take lightly. It's as sacred and forever as this world gets and even though it's lost some of it's holiness as time went on, It's still a holy bound between two people.
I haven't been able to verbalize right just yet, so I'll try to write it out on this paper. This life is full of obstacles, lessons, and challenges. We must make decisions every day that could alter our life and it's path. This Saturday when I give away my beloved last name and take on Jon's, I have no doubt as I slip on that wedding band that it will never come off. Even though there isn't a magical moment that pegged Jon as 'The One', I believe God grants us the ability to look in to a person and see them as who he created them to be. I truly believe God has a plan and part of his plan was my Jonathan.
The wedding is this weekend, and we are hopefully landing a new apartment along with our new marriage. This time is full of wonder and excitement, and I'm thankful for all of the people in my life that are making the day so special. You all know who you are! I most likely won't write again until after the occasion, so until then. I'm out as Mallory Bingham.
I'll see you all, next year!
Grace
Monday, December 23, 2013
I'm almost 12 weeks now, and as I continue on this unfamiliar road of pregnancy, I tend to get lost in thought at times. I've been brought up a conservative christian, so many of you know, that really doesn't involve premarital sex and a bun in the oven before you said "I do". I've gotten so hung up on that. I am the hardest on myself. I am constantly shaming myself and when I get a congratulations, It's hard to accept with a smile. I am not trying to walk through this pregnancy with my head held high and it's definitely not all smiles and glowing belly rubs. I'm ashamed, at least I was. I am beginning to realize that this is reality and as my belly gets harder and yoga pants get comfier and comfier the reality presents itself so much clearer.
Though I feel as we should have waited and gotten married like God commands us. When we sin, we're forgiven and life moves on. We must not get hung up on the pain of our sin but the joy of the forgiveness and grace. Which is why if we have a girl her middle name will be grace. To remind me that God gives us that promise, to always forgive and to move on with his plan and purpose in mind.
My purpose is this little baby and my new family. I have no idea what will lye ahead and what direction this path I've chosen will take me but It's time to put the shame and hurt away and move on. Accept the love and support from family, friends and my church community. I don't have to be alone in this and I can finally let my guard down. It almost brings tears to my eyes to finally be able to do this. My feelings have felt so guarded and I'm terrified to even acknowledge prayers and love from others because I've felt so shamed. You all who have stood by me and loved me no matter what, which has been an astounding amount of people, have changed my perspective on this whole situation. You've made it possible for me to be me again.
Well, now that I'm back, I plan to accept each and every one of your invitations to lunch, coffee and friendly text messages. God put some pretty incredible people in my life, and through all of you shines what being a christian is all about. Loving people.
1 John 4:8; God is love
Though I feel as we should have waited and gotten married like God commands us. When we sin, we're forgiven and life moves on. We must not get hung up on the pain of our sin but the joy of the forgiveness and grace. Which is why if we have a girl her middle name will be grace. To remind me that God gives us that promise, to always forgive and to move on with his plan and purpose in mind.
My purpose is this little baby and my new family. I have no idea what will lye ahead and what direction this path I've chosen will take me but It's time to put the shame and hurt away and move on. Accept the love and support from family, friends and my church community. I don't have to be alone in this and I can finally let my guard down. It almost brings tears to my eyes to finally be able to do this. My feelings have felt so guarded and I'm terrified to even acknowledge prayers and love from others because I've felt so shamed. You all who have stood by me and loved me no matter what, which has been an astounding amount of people, have changed my perspective on this whole situation. You've made it possible for me to be me again.
Well, now that I'm back, I plan to accept each and every one of your invitations to lunch, coffee and friendly text messages. God put some pretty incredible people in my life, and through all of you shines what being a christian is all about. Loving people.
1 John 4:8; God is love
Saying Goodbye to One Life, and Hello to Another.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
I can't say I pegged myself for the type to be married at 19 with a bun in the oven, but I have to admit, I'm not upset about it. I found out we're having a little baby about a month ago. Ironically, I posted something on Instagram I've never posted before, the day before I found out. It was one of those cheesy, "Welcome November! Please be good to me" Photos, with a cliche picture equipped with twinkle lights and leaves flowing gracefully on the ground. Little did I know, the next day I would be holding a little plastic stick with one two many stripes than I expected; and November 2013 was going to be one of the toughest months, I've ever been through. Irony at it's best, I'd say!
Anyhow, I can't count on my fingers how many times I've cried, panicked, sobbed, or screamed at my poor husband-to-be in the last few weeks. He's been a trooper. I've blamed the majority of them on the changing hormones but I must say, I really don't know if it's the hormones or just me...freaking out. To be expected: right? Now that I've been able to come up for air and really study my situation, I've come to terms with my future and I'm sure it will be okay. I mentioned above that I'm not upset about this. It wasn't what I had planned, though I had thought about it and considered the possibility, it never seemed reachable. It's that deceiving thought that pops in your mind that, it won't happen to me. Even if I wanted to drastically change my life, it wouldn't happen to me. What is that lie? Why does it present itself so believable? All questions I've pondered.
As November came and went, I thought about December and what this month has in store. I realize it won't be one of those months that fly by with nothing memorable. Each month from here on out will mean something. Whether it's our little baby making a milestone or my husband and I moving forward and growing our family. I'm not just a college girl wandering the campus looking around wondering when my life is going to start. It's started and it's flying down the tracks at a 1000 mph.
This is my last month home, living under my parents roof. Using their wifi and eating their food. They know me so well, and it's so comfortable here. In one of my freakish crying moments, I was listening to the good old Taylor Swift song, 'Never Grow Up' If you haven't heard it, give it a listen. It's a song about realizing how much you wanted to grow up and once you move on and out in to the big world, how much we miss the simplicity of childhood and the little things that made it home. I was weeping in my car, (I'd like to believe it was hormones this time.) thinking about all the things I'll miss at home. The sound of my dad's ankles cracking down the hallway when he goes to bed. Or the steady sound of my mom snoring behind her door. Or the way the floor feels under my bare feet. We all take these things for granted, and when you find yourself in your big girl (or boy) world with all your own things and all the responsibilities; you miss home. As I spend my last days living as a Bingham girl on County Route 10, I am savoring every minute. But next month when I change my name and move in with my love, I'll need to find comfort in new things. I have no doubt I will, and though challenging I realize I would be wishing for this if none of this ever happened. So I might as well take each day as it comes and treat every day as a gift. After all, I have a lot of soul searching to do if I'm going to teach my new baby to be as cool and deep as me.
Here's the little one, that I already love so much. As I jump through these hoops and prayerfully take each step in to the future, this is what I have in my mind. This really does make it all worth it.
Anyhow, I can't count on my fingers how many times I've cried, panicked, sobbed, or screamed at my poor husband-to-be in the last few weeks. He's been a trooper. I've blamed the majority of them on the changing hormones but I must say, I really don't know if it's the hormones or just me...freaking out. To be expected: right? Now that I've been able to come up for air and really study my situation, I've come to terms with my future and I'm sure it will be okay. I mentioned above that I'm not upset about this. It wasn't what I had planned, though I had thought about it and considered the possibility, it never seemed reachable. It's that deceiving thought that pops in your mind that, it won't happen to me. Even if I wanted to drastically change my life, it wouldn't happen to me. What is that lie? Why does it present itself so believable? All questions I've pondered.
As November came and went, I thought about December and what this month has in store. I realize it won't be one of those months that fly by with nothing memorable. Each month from here on out will mean something. Whether it's our little baby making a milestone or my husband and I moving forward and growing our family. I'm not just a college girl wandering the campus looking around wondering when my life is going to start. It's started and it's flying down the tracks at a 1000 mph.
This is my last month home, living under my parents roof. Using their wifi and eating their food. They know me so well, and it's so comfortable here. In one of my freakish crying moments, I was listening to the good old Taylor Swift song, 'Never Grow Up' If you haven't heard it, give it a listen. It's a song about realizing how much you wanted to grow up and once you move on and out in to the big world, how much we miss the simplicity of childhood and the little things that made it home. I was weeping in my car, (I'd like to believe it was hormones this time.) thinking about all the things I'll miss at home. The sound of my dad's ankles cracking down the hallway when he goes to bed. Or the steady sound of my mom snoring behind her door. Or the way the floor feels under my bare feet. We all take these things for granted, and when you find yourself in your big girl (or boy) world with all your own things and all the responsibilities; you miss home. As I spend my last days living as a Bingham girl on County Route 10, I am savoring every minute. But next month when I change my name and move in with my love, I'll need to find comfort in new things. I have no doubt I will, and though challenging I realize I would be wishing for this if none of this ever happened. So I might as well take each day as it comes and treat every day as a gift. After all, I have a lot of soul searching to do if I'm going to teach my new baby to be as cool and deep as me.
Here's the little one, that I already love so much. As I jump through these hoops and prayerfully take each step in to the future, this is what I have in my mind. This really does make it all worth it.
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