It's a surreal feeling for me to sit down with this empty paper. I usually read my last post and then sit here with my fingers hovering the keyboard and its always a mystery of what's going to end up on the page. Blogging is not as much as an outlet for me but it's a way of sorting through whatever is going on in my life. With the everyday changes that seem to occur regularly, it's only natural for me to need to sit down in a quiet corner of my life and mull over the recent piece of the Journey.
Sadly the theme in life lately has been anxiety. I am somewhat ashamed to admit that because it's always something that I've run from. It runs fiercely through my family and I was always proud to be labeled as the chill one. I blame it on hormones but I'm pretty sure it's just me at this certain point in my life. I get the privilege of speaking on the phone with my beloved friend every now and then. Our recent conversation revolved around the inevitable realization that money sucks. There is never enough and for me and my friend we like the sense of security. My savings account has looked pretty barren lately and even though I have everything I need (and MORE) I still seem to toss and turn and crunch the numbers in my head. I know I am just starting out and it takes time to learn how to manage the money and put it where it counts, but I still need to remind myself that money isn't everything.
I thank my husband for this reminder daily. I realize that I am a pain. I realize that I have a stressed look in my eye too often and I realize that I need to stop going on a Dunkin coffee run every single day.
But on a serious note, I needed to sit down and take a good hard look at not the numbers but my trust in the Lord. Once I focused on all that I had and all that God has provided for my family and I, all those money worries seemed to dissolve. Now it's not to be said that I need to throw my hands up and say God will take care of this for me but when I start to feel like the world is crumbling down around me because the money isn't as plentiful as what's comfortable, that's when its time to take a chill pill and look to God because he is always enough.
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