Today
was one of those marathon days, where I found myself taking a moment to breathe
deep and dig even deeper for strength. Sometimes as I move through my days I can’t
help but have that thought, “How am I supposed to handle all of this? I’m only ONE
person.” I think we’ve all been there, no matter what title or job we hold, it
can become more weight than our hands can bear and we start to stumble a little
and maybe if your anything like me, start to question if you have what it takes
to do all of this.
I’m
a powerhouse, I’m not afraid to share that piece about myself. From the time I
was 15, I had a job. I worked late shifts and saved money and from a young age
took pride in hard work and a paycheck. From the many titles I’ve held,
Motherhood has been the MOST humbling. Even more so, because that thing called
a paycheck doesn’t come by doing the 24/7 job you carry as a parent; it comes with
more work and more coordination. Humbling work, am I right?
Today
as I was driving to my cleaning job, I had one of those moments I spoke about
earlier. The moment where I found my breath coming up through my lungs, shaky
and overwhelmed, that feeling of defeat looming over my heart and I muttered
out, “How do I do all of this, Lord?”
I
instantly felt a response and it was so humbling. The Lord reminded me that He didn’t
design me to handle it all. He reminded me that He made me this way, so I would
look up, and ask for His help.
I didn’t actually stop as
I had work to do. But the feeling that I had to bear all of these things myself
vanished. My heart felt lighter and I told the Lord that even though I was completely
spent, I trusted that He’d get me through this.
Even though I have
powerhouse fuel flowing through my veins, I’m only human. I’m breakable. I’m
strong but not strong enough to handle it all. I’ve always taken such pride in
being able to do it all, and do it well. I’m going to tell you all this right
now, being tired and exhausted, with a heart that feels trampled- isn’t the
result of strength.
True strength comes
from laying down our own understanding, closing our eyes tight and admitting to
the creator of our strength that we need His direction and His help. God
created you just as He meant too, He knows why He gave you this life and He
knows exactly what you need. Don’t ever doubt that you won’t have what it
takes, because God will give it you.
