I
originally got on my computer to look for coupons, but I somehow ended up
sitting in front of a blinking curser. It’s early on this Tuesday morning, the
snow is falling outside my kitchen window and I’m strategically placed in the
chair right next to the heat, sipping on my second cup of coffee. I don’t
exactly know why I’m here writing, but I can only assume it’s time to scribble
out my latest findings in this journey of Mother-hood.
To my friends and family, it’s no secret I’ve been
struggling in the many complicated feelings and emotions that early Mother-hood
brings. These two kids have become my night and day, needing things on a daily
basis I never knew I was capable of providing, but yet here I am. I lose count
of the many tasks that I juggle in one day. As I write this, I’ve gotten up to
fluff the laundry while I helped Hallie use the bathroom and scooped up a fussy
Cole up off the floor and in to his car seat, to sit next to me. My day
consists of task after task after task.
But wait.
There is certainly a
lot to juggle and my day does seem to consist of an endless amount of chores
and tasks to keep up with, but I’ve found it’s important to stop, often. It’s important to stop the
running from thing to thing, because the ‘things’ will always be there. I’ll
always be behind and trying to catch up. With my personality, it’s hard to sit
down when there is a lot to be done, it’s been wired in me since I could
remember, and as efficient and put-together as I may seem from the outside, it
wares me on the inside. I miss out on things daily because of my grind and it
often catches up to me in the evening hours as I collapse, feeling exhausted
and diminished.
This journey I’m on is so full of lessons; I can’t even
keep track of them all. This blog serves many purposes but it’s most important
one is to look back on the important lessons and remember them and why they
changed me and pushed me to be better a Mother, Wife and person. This one is
simple and its one I’ve been working on because it goes against my nature, but
it so incredibly important.
STOP.
Stop rushing
around your every-day life and breathe the moments in. The efforts I put in to
the house and our lives are important but they aren’t everything. They don’t
come before my sanity and my kid’s attention. The simple moments of lying on
the floor and doing a puzzle with my child, the times I push my shower even
farther in to the afternoon, to just cuddle and watch a movie with my kids and
when we’re out running errands, it’s okay to take my time. It’s okay to just
turn the radio up, sing songs with my kids and enjoy this life I’m bringing
them up in. They deserve a Mom who doesn’t see them as a burden but enjoys her
time she gets to spend with them. I’m working on it.
So today along with the following ones to come,
I’m going to work on slowing my pace down and just letting the tasks sit for a
while, because they are sure to be there when I get back
