Growing Pains

            It’s been a long time since I’ve given myself a chance to sit and lay out the whirlwind of my life down on a piece of paper. This entry has been crafting itself within my heart for a couple weeks now and it feels good to be able to sit down and finally lay it all out.

            

          About 3 weeks ago we packed up our little rental house on county route 12 and moved most of our belongings in to a 10 x 10 storage unit. As we closed the door to our unit seeing most of our things stacked and packed in to a dark pile, I remember silently whispering to myself, “Here we go...” This whole situation was a big leap of faith. As explained in my last post, after finding out we needed to move from our rental, we were at a loss of what to do. Shortly after, we ended up finding a house down the road that seemed to be a perfect fit for our growing family. Since January we have been in the process of purchasing the house and now are days away from closing. In the beginning of February, we began staying with my parents as a temporary resting place until the paperwork was official and we could officially call the new place, ours.

            

               It was a Thursday morning, one week in to our stay at my parents. Jon was traveling for work, and Hallie and I were trying to settle in to a routine of our own. It was one of those moments that you hear about that can change your life. It changes your mindset, your perspective on everything and shakes you from within. I received a phone call from my husband that he had been in an accident. All I heard from the other line was my shaken husband, telling me he was okay, but he was terrified that this accident could end his career.

           

                  As reality set in, the true meaning of this incident set in. What if Jon loses his job? What if the bank ducks out and we’re dropped at square one with a 2 year old and a child on the way. I’m a practical thinker and the realistic, terrifying ‘what ifs’ were eating me alive. I tried to focus on the fact he was safe and healthy and I prayed to God that we would be taken care of and his job would be spared.

            

                 Three, painfully slow, weeks dragged by as we waited with his career in the balance. As this was an accident with a big corporation, there were necessary legal steps that needed to be taken and they held him at suspension until a conclusion was come to that he could either come back to work or be let go to find work elsewhere.

           

                 I can’t even begin to explain the angst I felt as each day passed and no news had come our way. It was a test on our relationship. It was a test on my patience as our life was already flipped upside down because of our current limbo stage, and most importantly it was a test on my faith. There was a moment I had where I was asked a serious question, “Do you trust that God will take care of you?” I immediately said, “Yes!” Though, immediately after, the true question followed, “Why are you so worried, then?”

          

        God was teaching us an important lesson, and I knew it. When you’re in the midst of a lesson like that, it’s really hard to trust that whatever the outcome is, you’ll be okay with. I fought with my anxiety every step of the way, but always seemed to come- full circle as I would bow my head trying to search for peace and rest. Throughout those three weeks of waiting, I had some pretty raw conversations with our Lord, and it brings tears to my eyes being able to say I made it to the end of this mess with a better understanding what this life is really about.

We are given no promises. We are given no guarantees that when life is going good, it will keep down that path. God taught me the importance of being still and waiting for His answer. God taught me how important a solid support system, praying for you and holding you steady, can be in the rocky times of life. God taught me to search for the blessings within each day, even if you have to look really hard. He taught me that He is good, all the time.

Three weeks to the day of his accident, we received the news of a lifetime, that his job was spared and he was welcomed back with open arms to start back to work.

I sit with you here, with my coffee hot and my heart as open as it’s ever been, and I’m so thankful to be sharing this news with all of you. I’m so grateful for this blog that gives me a platform to lay all of this out and see it as another chapter to my Journey, as he molds me and shapes me in to whoever I’ll become.

We are now days away from our closing day and soon our life will take off and we will settle in to our new home and I can begin nesting for our baby BOY, Luke, to be born this July. These past three weeks have been a test on many levels, but I can now say, that I can walk forward with a new sense of gratitude. I recently heard my Dad talking to a friend of his and he used the phrase, 'growing pains' to explain what we were going through. So that's where I'll end this, that even though things can be painful and hard, they are necessary to make us grow. 

xoxo

Just thought I'd share the beauty of Spring! Love to see all that snow melting :)