It feels just short of a miracle that I’m able to sit
down with the blog tonight. The house is quiet, both kids are sleeping and I’m taking
some much needed time to myself. I haven’t been a Mom of two for very long but
it feels really great to say that I’m getting the hang of this! It really has
been a whirl-wind three weeks, as I realize that just three weeks ago, I was in
the hospital, laboring through what was the most difficult, but one of most
beautiful days of my life. Cole has been a part of our lives for just 21 days
and now I wonder what life was like before. Obviously I remember the day to day
differences, but what I mean is, my heart and soul and the true dynamic of our
family has changed so much, I can’t imagine it being any different. We’re so
happy and we feel completed.
After what seemed like a very short time in the hospital,
coming home, I realized I was venturing in to uncharted waters and our routine
was going to be shaken to its core. Jon went back to work and here I was, sleep
deprived, struggling through hormonal emotions and trying so hard to be patient
to find our new normal. Tonight as I sit with you, the dishwasher humming and
the beautiful peace and quiet that surrounds my home, I feel as if just a few
weeks later, we may have arrived.
I thrive in an organized, peaceful, environment. So when
things get shaken, even when I know it’s coming, I brace myself for them. A few
times, as the chaos and unfamiliarity was ripping through my home and my
routine, I found myself trying to center myself and really dig deep for
feelings that this was OK. I’d say, “Mallory, not everything has to be perfect
all the time, just relax, this is ok!”
In the midst of one of my personal pep-talks, I fell upon
this devotional entry on my bible app. It talked about how we live in a culture
where we work all day, and then eventually we might take time to rest in the
evening. But this isn’t how God designed us to function. God wants us to order
our days with rest as a priority and place our ‘evening’ first. To make time to
rest, recharge and refocus, before we take on the day. It really hit me that it’s
important to slow down and take time to rest. With all my newfound responsibilities
as a Mother of now two kids, it can be almost funny that I’m expected to stop
and rest, but it occurred to me that it’s no good for me or either of my babies
if I’m stressed, overworked and exhausted.
I admit that I’m naturally hard-wired to get up and go,
go, go until it’s all done. The problem with that, is when you’re a Mom, the
tasks never seem to be completed. Each thing leads to the next and if you don’t
put rest first, you’ll never find it. I’m so thankful I fell on that devotional
because now I realize why I had such an inner conflict before. I was fighting
between myself and what God was trying to tell me. Slow it down, relax and
rest. It’s important.
I’m sure this isn’t the
last lesson I’ll have as I learn to be a Mother of two, I’m quickly gaining so
much respect for my own Mother and every other parent out there that has done
this before me. Though this is the absolute hardest thing I’ve ever done, it is
the most rewarding.
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