Change

It’s not often I find myself, still and quiet, searching for words to craft in this trusty blog of mine. The bustle of life seems to have gotten the best of me, but tonight, I found myself thoughtful and quiet. Both kids went down for bed with ease and as I sat in our quiet house, my mind began to wander and go back to a familiar state that doesn’t involve sippy cups, Disney movies & grocery lists. I was left to myself and just like that, I found serenity in a quick phone-call with a friend and thoughtfulness that doesn’t come often.

Mother-hood, I’m finding, can be daunting. Daunting isn’t meant to be a negative word in this sense, just difficult. I spend my days in the midst of a routine that’s constantly changing (figure that one out) and as soon as I think I have one thing figured out, another problem awaits my attention. I find so much of my day is dedicated to the ones I love, that I get left for last. I am okay with this, as this is what the early stages of Mother-hood are all about; sacrifice. But evenings like this, where I somehow find my way back to myself, I’m left to lots of self-reflecting and on occasion (like tonight) I get to spend time with myself and that’s everything. Every-time I have nights like these, I find a new person underneath. One who’s changing, growing and evolving with time; which brings me to my topic of this blog, change.

Change; it’s inevitable. Life changes on a dime and we’re left to manage what’s left, each and every time. But are we? I feel like I’m the Queen of change. After landing myself pregnant, married, mother of 1 and then 2, all in three years, yep, I know all about change. I can’t say I’m this wise person that has something to offer whoever’s reading this. I’m just like the rest of you, trying to manage my days the best I know how. But one thing I feel that’s so important to share about the personal experiences I’ve held, is that without a constant in this life that changes so quickly, what do we have? Something that keeps up grounded, when the ground literally shakes. A reminder of what’s important when we’re searching for purpose. And a safe place to visit when nothing around us feels safe. 

I can’t say that I have all the answers but something that’s reigned true each and every time those things happen in my life, is the un-denying peace and order that trusting God and his plan brings to my days. The radiating joy that I felt when I realized that God hand-picked a friend and placed them directly in my path, exactly when I needed one. The peace I feel, when I know there really isn’t a reason to be feeling peace in this chaotic moment. The unexpected order He brings in such a disorganized, string of events. 

I’m not a preacher; I’m not someone who normally would shove their beliefs on to another. I simply just want to share the truth I’ve come to know that’s become the solid foundation of my life. It brings tears to my eyes to finally put in to words what makes this life so beautiful for me. Change isn’t ever expected, but I’ve come to appreciate what it reminds me of, the constant that brings order to this crazy thing called, Life.