It’s been a few days since my beloved Corriney passed
away. The evening the Lord took her, I had made plans to head up and see her.
My parents came over to pile in our truck, with kids in tow, and made our way
up to the hospital to see her. She hadn’t been in the hospital long, but
something inside me caused haste, telling me to get up there. We missed her by
twenty minutes. As we were barreling down I81, our Lord and Savior took His
daughter home.
When we got there, she was laying in her bed, so still.
In hindsight, the Lord was gracious to me that evening. I was frustrated at the
time for not being there when she passed, or even not being able to say goodbye
with her still here with us. But now I see, with her wishes to have a closed casket
at her funeral, He knew I needed to see her for closure, to see her body one
last time to say goodbye.
It’s taken me a couple of days to process, and each time
the wave of sadness strikes, I’m able to follow it up with some sort of smile. Her
presence has this effect on you that brings comfort. I’ve felt it all week,
even with her gone.
It’s been a long time since I’ve lost someone, but I’d have
to say so far, this is the hardest loss I’ve had. Corriney was a grandmother to
me, she adopted me as her own just naturally, because that’s what she did best;
she loved. She loved in a big, loud and reckless way. She didn’t care if she looked silly doing it,
it just was the way she did things. I won’t forget her smell. I won’t forget
the way she always had a bunch of things in front of her as she sat where her
husband once sat, at the head of the her kitchen table and I won’t forget the
way she’d stand In the door way, waiting for you to pull out of the drive way,
as if she wanted to be present with you as long as possible.
Someone asked me how she impacted my life, and as I’ve
had a few days to think of that answer, I’m finally sure on how I want to answer
it.
Her life was well-lived, long and fruitful, with so many
people intertwined among the years. I saw testimony to that today at her
funeral. I realized at what being thoughtful and fully present can do to
relationships. The importance of recognizing each person that comes in to my
life as special. Because they are! That’s the way God wants us to see His
people and spread His love among each other. I learned so many things from
that woman, but what’s truly impacted me, is to be fully present with everyone;
because it matters. The loss of Corriney has reminded me so many times already,
to remember that it’s more important than anything else. It’s important with my
kids, it’s important with my husband, and it’s important with each and everyone
else that I encounter, because that’s how God works; He works within His
children.
The Lord still
continues to work through her, even still, after she’s left the earth. But you
know what remains? Her memory and the change she made in my heart.
I cannot wait to feel
that big bear hug from her when I arrive in heaven.
With
a long week behind me and her body now laid to rest, I needed a way remember
her legacy, because no matter how much time passes, I won’t forget her spirit
and her light. Tonight, Jon took me to our local Lowes store, and I searched
long and hard for a plant that I could use to represent her life in my home. I
found this tree, and its trunk reminded me of the many people that Corriney
intertwined together and in that we found relationships. I’ll place her tree in
the sunniest spot of my house; I’ll keep it alive and place this photo next to
it. I’ll use this as a token of remembrance to my beloved Corriney.
